The Story

Two months later, and I finally found a little bit of time to tell the story...

I told Michael that a lot of husbands buy their wives "push gifts" now.  Michael is an awesome husband and listened to his wife.  Even though he is all of the way on the other side of the world, he was still able to send me a little gift.  Chocolate covered strawberries...yum, yum, yum!  

And he must have really felt bad for not being here because he sent me TWO gifts!  What a great husband!  We just wish he could have been here for the birth of his baby girl.  Bristol, when you read this, please know that you're Daddy would have done anything to be here for your debut.  However, he is one of the few heroes we have left in the world and had to tend to something bigger.  Don't worry, he will make it up to you when you are requesting ponies and rainbows later in life!  ;)   

My c-section surgery was scheduled for the 0845, so my parents and I got up bright and early.  One of my B.F.F.'s came to watch Joey so both of my parents could be with me.  

Getting all ready!  My doctor is a UNC graduate, so I had to make sure to show my gang sign!  Go Wolfpack!  I had a spinal to numb my body.  I did not like this one bit.  It was such a weird feeling.  I actually freaked out in the operating room because of all of the strange feelings.  The nurses and my mom all thought that I was upset about Michael not being there and having a baby and blah, blah, blah, but it was because of all of the weird physical feelings.  So weird.  After the nurses removed Bristol from the room, the docs actually knocked me out.  I suppose that's so I could get a little rest and calm down. 

*******GRAPHIC PHOTOS BELOW*********

It only took the docs a few minutes to pull Bristol out of me!  She came into the world screaming and yelling!  There's no doubt in my mind that she wanted everyone in that room to remember her!  She "arrived" at 945 AM on July 12th, 2012.  

Bristol Fay weighed 8 lbs, 8 oz and measured 19.5 inches long!  Dr. Mills (my Carolina doctor) commented several times about how big she was.  She was delivered at 39 weeks...imagine if I would have went to my due date or later.  Yikes.  

**********END OF GRAPHIC PHOTOS***************

My Mom was in the operating room with me.  She sat with me until they removed Bristol.  After that, Mom had strict instructions to stay with my baby!  Michael and I are both afraid of our baby getting snatched.  I know, I know, most hospitals, including ours, have monitoring devices and alarms to prevent baby snatching, but you never can tell.  Do you know that a week after Bristol was born, I saw a news report about a lady trying to snatch a baby at some hospital in another state?!?!!  She did not succeed due to the alarms, but still, you can never be too careful.  

Our first meeting.  :)   B was kind of ugly when they took her out of my womb.  I actually thought karma for talking crap about other people's babies had caught up with me.  Then when they laid her on my chest, I realized karma hadn't found me yet.  She was beautiful and perfect!  

We stayed in the hospital for 4 days, and 3 nights.  I healed much faster with this c-section than I did with Joey's.  I was up and walking around in no time.  I had a lot of visitors, which was really nice.  I did not get to Skype with Michael, but we did get to talk on the phone a few times during those first few days.  He was so heartbroken that he could not be here for the birth.  The sacrifices our military give up.  

Bristol is great.  She did not have any jaundice.  She dropped down to 7 lbs, 12 oz, but then gained an entire ounce overnight!  Guess my milk came in, huh?  She does have a blocked tear duct, but the doc said that usually works itself out in a few months.  

I was really REALLY glad I went home to have my baby.  I do not know how I could have had a major surgery, have a baby, and care for my active toddler alone.   Thank you to everyone in North Carolina that helped us out.  You will never know how much it means to Michael and me!  

Strong

I am writing this post on the eve of meeting my little girl.  I am not going to lie.  I am scared to death.  Not of my surgery or the recovery.  I am scared of having two children.  I cannot even fathom how I going to find the strength to handle two kids at once.  I know all kids are different, but Joey as a newborn was so hard and demanding.  I remember being such a zombie and so cranky from the serious lack of sleep and frustration.  How am I supposed to function with a newborn AND a super active toddler? 

People like to bring up the fact that I have help right now, so I should calm down.  But I'm not worried about the next 6-8 weeks.  I'm worried about the time when I go home.  Yes, my hubby will be home soon so he can help, but with our lifestyle, it is only a matter of months or weeks before he will have to deploy or be away again.  Do I just move home every time he leaves for an extended amount of time?  What kind of life is that for me and my children?  Uproot our routines constantly just so I have extra help?  This life of ours is hard, but I never really realized how hard until we had children.  Kids really do change everything.  

I know I should not worry about the future right now.  I should concentrate on getting through  my surgery, and the recovery, and the next few weeks.  Who knows what will happen in our future with careers. 

I'm also scared and mad about having to do this without the father of my child.  He should be here.  It is so weird and hard not to have my best friend by my side for such a life-changing event.  It hurts me to talk to Michael and hear the sadness and pain in his voice because he's missing the birth of his little girl.  We made the decision together to bring this child into the world, and now, I'm having to do it without him by my side. This is definitely one of the downfalls of my husband being a hero.   

As I get ready to turn off this computer and go to bed for the last time as a mother of one child, I need to think about meeting my sweet little Bristol.  I need to put all of these fears, sadness, and anger to rest because I will need to be strong for my family.  Strong for my inquisitive son.  Strong for my deployed husband.  Strong for my little girl.  And strong for myself.  

35 Weeks

I finally had my first appointment with my North Carolina doctors this week.  I was super anxious for this appointment since we are in the final stretch before the big show and I had TONS of questions for my new doc(s).

The most important question was if they perform Vaginal Birth After C-Section (VBAC).  If they did not, then it looked like I would automatically be having a c-section again due to the very limited amount of time I had left before my due date to find a doctor/hospital that did.  Fortunately, this doctor does perform VBACs  if the lady is a good candidate.  The main concern is where my prior internal c-section incision is located.  If it is a vertical incision, then no VBAC for me.  If it is a horizontal cut, then we're good to go.  Unfortunately, my prior doctor's office sent all of my records except for the actual delivery report!  Ugh!  So, now we have to wait on the records to arrive to my new doctor before they can determine which route we will be going.  

If Bristol is breech, we will automatically have a c-section, as well.  As of this past Wednesday, she was head down and sitting pretty low in my pelvis!  Holla!  As long as she stays that way, we're good to go!  However, I have felt her flipping around this weekend.  I have been feeling her hiccups down in my pelvis, but this weekend, her hiccups were up under my ribs.  This made me think that she may have been head up at that moment.  Baby girl needs to stop being an overachiever and get her butt in the proper position! 

  

I think I look pregnant now!  :)  35 weeks!

I have noticed with this pregnancy that I have had way more sharp pains in my ribs.  I'm assuming this is her kicking me!  If Joey was breech for awhile, that may explain why I never had those types of pains in my ribs.  

I've also had some menstrual-like cramping and pelvic pressure over the past few weeks.  The doctor said that was probably baby girl getting into position.  

Bristol's heart rate was good and she was measuring great, according to the doctor.  My weight gain, or lack thereof, was not even discussed.  However, I did gain three pounds since my last appointment, putting me three pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight.  I'm not seriously concerned about this since I haven't gained any weight until now.  Plus, being with other adults and eating lots of good southern cooking, is not helping!  

I can't believe that I may have another baby in 5 weeks!  If I am going to have a c-section, then I will be having my baby between 39-40 weeks...aka in 4 weeks!!!  YIKES!  I'm not going to lie, the thought of having a newborn again, plus dealing with demanding toddler is seriously stressing me out.  I remember how much I wanted time to fly by when I was at the end of my pregnancy with Joey.  I couldn't wait to not be pregnant and to meet our little guy.  This time around, I am begging father time to slow his butt down!  I am so grateful that I will have lots of family around to help for the first 6 weeks, but I know we're on our own after that and that is a very scary thought.  In my opinion, Joey was a very demanding and high strung newborn.  I didn't like being a mom until he was 4 months old.  I know that most siblings are complete opposites of each other, but I am preparing myself for another "Joey newborn".  Hopefully, Bristol will be the most mellow and easy-going baby and all of this worry and concern was over nothing.  I know there's no need to worry and I can only take one day at a time.  So, for the time being, I am trying to enjoy any free time I have right now and my alone time with just Joey.  If I thought the ride was rough before, I'm in for a rude awakening, I feel.    

Daddy and Summer Vacay

So, Michael will be deployed for the birth of TBD.  He leaves this spring and won't return until sometime in the fall.  We had decided for me and Joey to just stay in California due to housing issues, among other things.  This was seriously stressing me out since we just moved to our new home and we haven't really made any good friends quite yet (at least that will be here during the summer).  My parents had planned on coming out here for the delivery and some time after, but what if I went into labor early?  What if they got here and I went two weeks late?  If my parents weren't here yet, who would watch Joey?  How would I get myself to the hospital?  What if I have to have a c-section and am in the hospital for a few days, would someone be able to care for Joey that long?  O.  M.  G.   So many concerns!! 

Even though we had made our "final" decision, we continued to discuss the situation. We had heard that if you are vacant from your base house for more than 30 days, then you would lose the home.  I did not want to give up our home and move to my parents for the entire deployment (which is usually 6-8 months long) because that would be so much change for Joey.  Say goodbye to Daddy, move across country, get used to grandparent's home, get used to extended family, welcome new baby, share mommy, say goodbye to extended family, move into new home, and welcome daddy back all within a 6-8 month period.  That is an awful lot of change for anyone, especially a little kid.   This was our main hang-up.  

Then, I heard some wives saying they went back to their family's home for 4-5 months while hubby was deployed and they kept their base house.   Do what?!?   If this was true, then this would solve our problem!  I called the base housing office and finally got this nasty rumor straight.  We CAN be vacant from our home for a few months...I just need to sign a waiver stating that housing can enter our house if an emergency arises.   It probably didn't hurt that I told them our situation...hubby deployed, I'm pregnant, we have a toddler, just moved here and no real friends yet, AND I may have to have a c-section!  They probably said "Heck yes, let that girl leave for a little while!  She could be a liability if we say no!"

So, Joey and I are going to be staying in North Carolina at my parent's house from the end of May (I'll be about 32 weeks prego) until right after Labor Day (TBD will be about 6 weeks old).  We don't lose our home, we get to see our families and friends, and I can get some RELIEF and help with my crazy toddler and soon to be newborn!  I am so freaking happy and relieved!  We'll actually get to be around family for part of this pregnancy.  The fam will get to meet TBD in-person versus just reading a blog or seeing pics.  This is really going to be a win-win situation...well, except for Michael.  He is so bummed that he is going to be away from us and for the birth of his new kiddo.  This is part of the military lifestyle and lot of military families go through this...that doesn't make it any easier, though.  We'll be doing lots of letters and photos, and hopefully, some Skyping.     

Really?

We know there is a baby in there.  We saw TBD.  Heard the heart beat.  But it is just so weird this time around.  I wonder if it's because I'm so hung up on Joey and constantly thinking about him and what trouble he may be getting into, that I don't have time to think about the new babe.  TBD may cross my mind once I settle down into my bed at night.  That's when I'll pull out my "What to Expect" book (not like I need to read it, since I read that thing front to back 20 million times during the first pregnancy) and read up on what week we're at because I feel like that makes me pregnant.  

Now that most of the morning sickness has gone away, it is way easy to "forget" that I'm with child.  With all of my baby forgetfulness, I have totally forgotten all of the stuff I'm NOT supposed to do or eat while prego!   Of course, the "rules" come barreling back at me at the most annoying times, like when I'm eating a medium rare steak, drinking loads of caffeine, eating feta cheese or lunch meat, and so on.  Ahhh, I'm not as worried this time.  I've heard that a lot about second (third, fourth, fifth, etc) kids.  You learn not to "care" so much about the small stuff.  You realize that people have been having babies forever without all of these rules and a good portion of them turned out alright.  (Side note:  I know lots of elders told me this when I was pregnant with Joey, but you know, I'm young and dumb and must try everything out for myself before I believe any of this advice).  I'm just trying to be sensible about things.  I did completely knock out alcohol.  And totally kicked that pesky drug habit I had going on.  KIDDING!  Hugs, not drugs, people!  :)