The Story

Two months later, and I finally found a little bit of time to tell the story...

I told Michael that a lot of husbands buy their wives "push gifts" now.  Michael is an awesome husband and listened to his wife.  Even though he is all of the way on the other side of the world, he was still able to send me a little gift.  Chocolate covered strawberries...yum, yum, yum!  

And he must have really felt bad for not being here because he sent me TWO gifts!  What a great husband!  We just wish he could have been here for the birth of his baby girl.  Bristol, when you read this, please know that you're Daddy would have done anything to be here for your debut.  However, he is one of the few heroes we have left in the world and had to tend to something bigger.  Don't worry, he will make it up to you when you are requesting ponies and rainbows later in life!  ;)   

My c-section surgery was scheduled for the 0845, so my parents and I got up bright and early.  One of my B.F.F.'s came to watch Joey so both of my parents could be with me.  

Getting all ready!  My doctor is a UNC graduate, so I had to make sure to show my gang sign!  Go Wolfpack!  I had a spinal to numb my body.  I did not like this one bit.  It was such a weird feeling.  I actually freaked out in the operating room because of all of the strange feelings.  The nurses and my mom all thought that I was upset about Michael not being there and having a baby and blah, blah, blah, but it was because of all of the weird physical feelings.  So weird.  After the nurses removed Bristol from the room, the docs actually knocked me out.  I suppose that's so I could get a little rest and calm down. 

*******GRAPHIC PHOTOS BELOW*********

It only took the docs a few minutes to pull Bristol out of me!  She came into the world screaming and yelling!  There's no doubt in my mind that she wanted everyone in that room to remember her!  She "arrived" at 945 AM on July 12th, 2012.  

Bristol Fay weighed 8 lbs, 8 oz and measured 19.5 inches long!  Dr. Mills (my Carolina doctor) commented several times about how big she was.  She was delivered at 39 weeks...imagine if I would have went to my due date or later.  Yikes.  

**********END OF GRAPHIC PHOTOS***************

My Mom was in the operating room with me.  She sat with me until they removed Bristol.  After that, Mom had strict instructions to stay with my baby!  Michael and I are both afraid of our baby getting snatched.  I know, I know, most hospitals, including ours, have monitoring devices and alarms to prevent baby snatching, but you never can tell.  Do you know that a week after Bristol was born, I saw a news report about a lady trying to snatch a baby at some hospital in another state?!?!!  She did not succeed due to the alarms, but still, you can never be too careful.  

Our first meeting.  :)   B was kind of ugly when they took her out of my womb.  I actually thought karma for talking crap about other people's babies had caught up with me.  Then when they laid her on my chest, I realized karma hadn't found me yet.  She was beautiful and perfect!  

We stayed in the hospital for 4 days, and 3 nights.  I healed much faster with this c-section than I did with Joey's.  I was up and walking around in no time.  I had a lot of visitors, which was really nice.  I did not get to Skype with Michael, but we did get to talk on the phone a few times during those first few days.  He was so heartbroken that he could not be here for the birth.  The sacrifices our military give up.  

Bristol is great.  She did not have any jaundice.  She dropped down to 7 lbs, 12 oz, but then gained an entire ounce overnight!  Guess my milk came in, huh?  She does have a blocked tear duct, but the doc said that usually works itself out in a few months.  

I was really REALLY glad I went home to have my baby.  I do not know how I could have had a major surgery, have a baby, and care for my active toddler alone.   Thank you to everyone in North Carolina that helped us out.  You will never know how much it means to Michael and me!  

Strong

I am writing this post on the eve of meeting my little girl.  I am not going to lie.  I am scared to death.  Not of my surgery or the recovery.  I am scared of having two children.  I cannot even fathom how I going to find the strength to handle two kids at once.  I know all kids are different, but Joey as a newborn was so hard and demanding.  I remember being such a zombie and so cranky from the serious lack of sleep and frustration.  How am I supposed to function with a newborn AND a super active toddler? 

People like to bring up the fact that I have help right now, so I should calm down.  But I'm not worried about the next 6-8 weeks.  I'm worried about the time when I go home.  Yes, my hubby will be home soon so he can help, but with our lifestyle, it is only a matter of months or weeks before he will have to deploy or be away again.  Do I just move home every time he leaves for an extended amount of time?  What kind of life is that for me and my children?  Uproot our routines constantly just so I have extra help?  This life of ours is hard, but I never really realized how hard until we had children.  Kids really do change everything.  

I know I should not worry about the future right now.  I should concentrate on getting through  my surgery, and the recovery, and the next few weeks.  Who knows what will happen in our future with careers. 

I'm also scared and mad about having to do this without the father of my child.  He should be here.  It is so weird and hard not to have my best friend by my side for such a life-changing event.  It hurts me to talk to Michael and hear the sadness and pain in his voice because he's missing the birth of his little girl.  We made the decision together to bring this child into the world, and now, I'm having to do it without him by my side. This is definitely one of the downfalls of my husband being a hero.   

As I get ready to turn off this computer and go to bed for the last time as a mother of one child, I need to think about meeting my sweet little Bristol.  I need to put all of these fears, sadness, and anger to rest because I will need to be strong for my family.  Strong for my inquisitive son.  Strong for my deployed husband.  Strong for my little girl.  And strong for myself.  

The End

Man, I am behind on this blog!  Things have been so crazy and hectic, and, now, we're finally here at the end.  I wanted to update this blog so I wouldn't forget any details before we start the next chapter!  :)

36 Weeks, 3 Days at the Kenny Chesney/Tim McGraw Concert in Charlotte, NC

 So, at my 36 week appointment, the doctor informed me that they would take Bristol by c-section on my due date, July 19th, if she hadn't already come on her own.  If I went into labor before July 19th, then I could try the VBAC.  This was upsetting news because I didn't feel like we were giving baby girl enough time to come on her own.  I wanted to wait until at least 41 weeks before we did a c-section.  The doctors did not want to induce me, though, due to an increased chance of uterine rupture.  

37 Weeks

When I went to my 37 week appointment, I was all prepared to argue and fight with the doctors about taking Bristol by c-section on my due date.  I was ready to fight tooth and nail to wait until 41 weeks.  However, I got the bad news that stopped the debate before it could even  really start.  The doctors finally received my records from Alaska.  My previous c-section surgery was done with a single suture versus a double suture.  The hospital I will be delivering Bristol at will not let a patient with this type of suture have a VBAC due to an increased chance of uterine rupture.  In addition to this policy, there is not an anesthesiologist on duty at all times since this is a smaller hospital.  It would take about 30 minutes for this specialist to arrive at the hospital if he/she was needed.  Since there is an increased chance of uterine rupture with VBACs, the lack of an on-duty anesthesiologists is risky. 

 I was devastated when I heard this news.  All I wanted to do was cry.  I can't believe I went 37 weeks believing that I would be able to try a vaginal delivery.  When I went home and did my own Google research, it seemed that the chances of uterine rupture were only a slight bit higher with the single suture.  It seemed that the suture argument was just an excuse for some doctors and hospitals to use so they do not have to do a VBAC.  This research only made this news harder to take...probably why you shouldn't Google anything medical!  I also kept thinking about the anesthesiologist thing.  If I would have stayed in California to have this baby, I probably could have had my VBAC due to being in a much larger hospital.  However, I certainly would not have had the amount of help that I have here.  Ahhhh, trade-offs! 

I am still having a really hard time with this news, but it is what it is.  I was seriously pissed off about this and did not want to hear any of the good reasons why having a c-section wasn't so bad.  However, one of the good reasons that does make me (and Michael) smile is that I will have the prettiest and most pristine vagina in the world since no babies will have ever barreled out of it!!!  Hahaha!  This is something good since my husband will be home from a long deployment relatively shortly after having this baby.  I have a friend that I had to wait several months before she was good to go down there after her vaginal delivery. On this note, I will be discussing birth control with the doctor ASAP!  No Irish twins here, please!  

38 Weeks

At my last appointment, 38 weeks, I found out that I will definitely be having my baby on July 12th.  Since this will be a scheduled c-section, they do not want me to go into labor naturally.  This will cause stress on baby and me.  My doctors do planned surgeries on Thursdays, which, coincidentally falls exactly on the day I turn 39 weeks.  39 weeks is also an optimal time to take the baby out of the mother because the baby is supposedly fully developed, not too big, and ready to go.

For four days prior to my appointment, I had been having very severe menstrual-like cramps.  These were so bad that I almost called the doctor to find out if I needed to go to the hospital!  When the doctor checked my cervix, the baby's head was right there!!  My cervix had not opened or dilated at all, though.  The doctor said that we would still go with the c-section on the 12th, or if I went into labor before then and was really far along, like 8 or 9 cm dilated, we would proceed with a VBAC (if my uterus was going to rupture, it would have already ruptured by then).  If I was only 1 or 2 cm dilated, we would do a c-section.  The doc said that the reason I was cramping so badly was due to the baby getting settled into my pelvis. 

35 Weeks

I finally had my first appointment with my North Carolina doctors this week.  I was super anxious for this appointment since we are in the final stretch before the big show and I had TONS of questions for my new doc(s).

The most important question was if they perform Vaginal Birth After C-Section (VBAC).  If they did not, then it looked like I would automatically be having a c-section again due to the very limited amount of time I had left before my due date to find a doctor/hospital that did.  Fortunately, this doctor does perform VBACs  if the lady is a good candidate.  The main concern is where my prior internal c-section incision is located.  If it is a vertical incision, then no VBAC for me.  If it is a horizontal cut, then we're good to go.  Unfortunately, my prior doctor's office sent all of my records except for the actual delivery report!  Ugh!  So, now we have to wait on the records to arrive to my new doctor before they can determine which route we will be going.  

If Bristol is breech, we will automatically have a c-section, as well.  As of this past Wednesday, she was head down and sitting pretty low in my pelvis!  Holla!  As long as she stays that way, we're good to go!  However, I have felt her flipping around this weekend.  I have been feeling her hiccups down in my pelvis, but this weekend, her hiccups were up under my ribs.  This made me think that she may have been head up at that moment.  Baby girl needs to stop being an overachiever and get her butt in the proper position! 

  

I think I look pregnant now!  :)  35 weeks!

I have noticed with this pregnancy that I have had way more sharp pains in my ribs.  I'm assuming this is her kicking me!  If Joey was breech for awhile, that may explain why I never had those types of pains in my ribs.  

I've also had some menstrual-like cramping and pelvic pressure over the past few weeks.  The doctor said that was probably baby girl getting into position.  

Bristol's heart rate was good and she was measuring great, according to the doctor.  My weight gain, or lack thereof, was not even discussed.  However, I did gain three pounds since my last appointment, putting me three pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight.  I'm not seriously concerned about this since I haven't gained any weight until now.  Plus, being with other adults and eating lots of good southern cooking, is not helping!  

I can't believe that I may have another baby in 5 weeks!  If I am going to have a c-section, then I will be having my baby between 39-40 weeks...aka in 4 weeks!!!  YIKES!  I'm not going to lie, the thought of having a newborn again, plus dealing with demanding toddler is seriously stressing me out.  I remember how much I wanted time to fly by when I was at the end of my pregnancy with Joey.  I couldn't wait to not be pregnant and to meet our little guy.  This time around, I am begging father time to slow his butt down!  I am so grateful that I will have lots of family around to help for the first 6 weeks, but I know we're on our own after that and that is a very scary thought.  In my opinion, Joey was a very demanding and high strung newborn.  I didn't like being a mom until he was 4 months old.  I know that most siblings are complete opposites of each other, but I am preparing myself for another "Joey newborn".  Hopefully, Bristol will be the most mellow and easy-going baby and all of this worry and concern was over nothing.  I know there's no need to worry and I can only take one day at a time.  So, for the time being, I am trying to enjoy any free time I have right now and my alone time with just Joey.  If I thought the ride was rough before, I'm in for a rude awakening, I feel.    

Pitter Patter

We had our first official doctor's appointment today to see if there really is a baby in there!  Well, folks, we have a winner!   TBD is now officially alive, in our minds!   We saw and heard the heartbeat, 176 bpm.  The ultrasound actually puts TBD's due date at July 19th, versus the 21st, like we had originally thought. 

Everything looked great for baby, but they did discover that I have a small bleed/clot in my uterus.  No big deal...a lot of women have them.  The doc said that it should be absorbed by my uterus within the next month.  I guess we'll find out if it did at our 13 week appointment.  I am not allowed to exercise, no heavy lifting, and no intercourse.  The heavy lifting was a concern since I have this 22-lb babe attached to me all day.  I guess Mr. Joey will be having to do a whole lot more walking! 
   

We also discussed how we wanted to have this baby.  Since I had a c-section with Joey, I can automatically opt to have another c-section with TBD.  A lot of times, the mother with a previous c-section has no choice in this matter and has to have a c-section if the delivering doctor and/or hospital does not support vaginal birth after cesearan (VBAC).  I really would like to have a vaginal birth with TBD.  I'm not bothered that I had a c-section with Joey, but I don't feel like I "earned" it.   I know that sounds really stupid...I carried him for 10 months, I had major surgery so that they could remove him from me, it took months for me to heal from the surgery, etc.  But, I never felt a contraction.   I never went into labor.  I don't know what childbirth actually feels like.  If you ever hang out with moms, especially ones that had their babes within the past couple of years, childbirth usually comes up at least once in the conversation.   Everyone starts to tell their war stories from the delivery room.  "I was in labor for 24 amount of hours!",  "I pushed for 12 hours straight!", "I pooped all over the table.", and it goes on and on.  I usually just sit there, smile, and nod in agreement to these stories while withholding my story from the group unless someone asks me.  I know there is no shame in my game, but when you tell people that you have a c-section, there's always one in the group that wants to point out how ridiculous it is that there are so many c-sections in our country these days.  Really?   Did you just say that to me?  It's very annoying. 

Anyways, I would like to have a VBAC and see what all this birthing business is about.   I am absolutely positive that I will be regretting this decision while I'm trying to push out out my baby's head through my vagina!  I am also aware that I still may have to have a c-section.  The doc said that one of the main concerns with a VBAC is the tearing of my old incision.  The docs and nurses will keep a very close eye on this and if they notice any tearing, they will perform a c-section.  If TBD is breech like their bro, then I will have a c-section (and no, I will NOT go through the Version procedure (where the docs try to flip the baby from the outside) again).  If I have to have a c-section in the end, I'm okay with that.